I HAVE THE SOLUTION!!

Since it's so blatantly obvisous to the most casual observer, that Pau Gasol is the best basketball player to walk the face of the Earth - according to the Spanish folks responding to Chris Vernon's new song - I have the solution to the Pau Gasol situation.

Instead of trading Pau, we trade everyone else! Then we simply sign the entire Spanish National team!!

The Grizzlies would OBVIOUSLY then be the first team to ever go undefeated 82-0 in the regular season - then go a perfect 4-0 in every playoff series en route to a perfect 4-0 sweep in the NBA Finals!That's the answer!

Jerry West, Make It Happen!!

Why Are You Still Here?

Pau, why are you still a Grizzly? Folks were supposed to be lining up to take you and your contract! Maybe the other GMs watched the game last night and saw you get punked out and the ball stolen…you know, the time that you fell and were sitting on your butt watching everyone else run down the court? You suck, Pau Gasol. The faster we trade you the better. I’m tired of hearing “almost double-double player” attached to your name. Your double-doubles are absolutely useless because they pale in comparison to the stats that you give up. It hasn’t been great. It hasn’t been. And you can’t be an ex-Grizzly soon enough for me.

And the Wonder Twins did their deal last night against the Grizzlies and, oh, how they talked of how great they played together. Yeah, y’all are great. Wonder Twins power activate…form of some player that play great against a pathetic Grizzlies team…form of something useless made of water. Well, ok, not really, but seriously – it’s easy to be laughing and dunking and “see, we get along wonderfully” when your playing the Bad News Bears of the NBA. Let’s see how things shake down when Kobe’s dropping 50 on your head. Let’s see how well you share and get along when Phoenix rolls through and scoring points like it’s going out of style. Let’s see how well you pass and set up plays when you’re about to lose by 30. You play well then and share and pass and be all lovey…THEN I’ll be impressed.

We’ll miss you Bill Parcells. I’m only 33, but it always feels like I get a little older a little quicker when sports figures I’ve grown up with retire. Bill Parcells is the latest. My generation of NASCAR drivers is another. So many of the drivers I remember watching in the early 90’s…gone – retired or passed away. I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid.

Pau, are you still here? I’m sorry, I thought you were leaving. But on a side-note, it was nice to hear an afternoon show playing the Hallelujah chorus when mentioning the Pau trade after my blog first thing yesterday morning mentioned it. Maybe someone’s noticing this lunacy.

The Hallelujah Chorus

I can hear the hallelujah chorus loud and clear this morning. The monkey off of Peyton’s back. Finally over the New England speedbump. He played a great second half, and he finally gets to the SuperBowl.

Congrats to the Saints on an amazing season. I have to wonder how much Reggie’s taunt came back to haunt us yesterday. Finally get it back to within 16-14, and the Bears just shut the door. A Safety on the intentional grounding followed by nothing allowed in the 4th quarter. Not sure if that was the Bears getting their rhythm or if that was the Bears getting their hackles up over the taunt. Either way, the Saints being eliminated makes it easier to root for Peyton in the SuperBowl! Geaux Colts!

And lastly…the hallelujah chorus is loudest because there are reports that Pau Gasol is on the trading block. I’ve been on the Trade Pau Now bandwagon since I started the thing 4 years ago. The line I use most often: He’s beaten under the basket so often, he probably has battered wife syndrome. He’s not the type of player around which a team should or COULD be built. News that Chicago is interested is exciting. Best case scenario is that we get another Top 3 or 5 draft pick in the deal. Certainly beats the offer I would have taken…which was something that included nothing more than a box of pop-tarts and some oreos. I’ve heard people say that they’re turning on Pau now that the trade rumors have surfaced. I suppose the moron that said that was ok with Pau being weak and scared while he was running down the Grizzlies in the Spanish papers. I suppose he was ok with Pau breaking his foot playing for the Spanish National team this summer. The Grizzlies are the ones paying him the max contract, yet he plays harder for the Spanish Team. Maybe the Grizzlies should have taken the hint and not given him a max contract.

Either way – the Chorus is singing loudly this morning. Peyton’s finally beaten the Patriots and Pau Gasol hopefully will be on the first train to anywhere by here!

Mitch Mustain Follow-Up

Apparently (according to KATV, Little Rock) Mitch Mustain has re-enrolled in classes at Arkansas.

I guess Mr. Greatest Thing Since Slice Bread decided that if his options were Tulsa, Texas Tech and UTEP, that maybe he'd just hang loose in Fayetteville for a while. Since Notre Dame, Louisville and the others told him thanks for asking - don't call us, we'll call you.

See, Mitch, having your momma go meet with AD's is something that follows you around. Hard to get other coaches at big-time programs to be interested when there's a history of meddling parents who think that one mediocre freshman quarterback is bigger than the entire program.

As Obi-Wan told Anakin in Attack of the Clones: "You will learn your place, young one." You may be a great Quarterback someday - with some coaching and some listening to coaching on your part. But you need to quit believing your own hype. You need some work, dude. If you were smart - and your former HS Coach - you would have just shut up, rolled with it, and let Darren McFadden carry the load next season while you work on your mechanics and your accuracy...and your decision making. This situation is similar to the Chargers. River let LT do the brunt of the work while he learned the ropes and got his feet wet. You have the perfect chance to do that at Arkansas. D-Mac leaves after this year - the team could be yours the next.

If you truly turn out to be as good as you were supposed to be, Nutt would be a fool to not put the team on your shoulders after D-Mac leaves. Just like he would have been a fool to not put the team on D-Mac's shoulders this year.

Honestly, I was a Hog fan long before I ever heard your name...and I'll be one long after you're gone. Stay or go - it's of little consequence to me. But if you stay, you need to smarten up and quit acting like a spoiled 10-year-old saying, "screw this, I'm taking my ball and going home."

The Springdale Babies

There's been a lot of talk about Malzahn leaving and was he lied to by Houston Nutt. Coach Nutt probably DID tell Gus Malzahn that he would be able to open up the offense for Arkansas. Nutt probably said something pretty close to these exact words, "Hey, uh, Gus. I really like your style of offense. How would you like to come to Arkansas and help me get that offense into the SEC?"

And Houston Nutt may have had full intentions of doing just that when he had his conversation with Gus Malzahn. Then McFadden and Jones showed up and lit the SEC on fire and the best 1-2 running back combination in the country with McFadden finishing 2nd in the Heisman Trophy race. For that group of Springdale babies to think that Arkansas should have ignored that and just let Gus throw the ball around the field like he’s Coach Spurrier, Jr. is just insane. It would be the equivalent of Scottie Pippen’s mom complaining to Phil Jackson that he’s giving the ball to that Jordan guy too much.

Have fun in Tulsa, boys…we already have a mediocre quarterback, and his name is Casey Dick. We certainly don’t need another one who thinks WAY too highly of himself for someone who threw 9 Interceptions and 10 Touchdowns during the season. If they want to leave then leave, but don’t act like Arkansas pulled a bait and switch. I don’t think anybody in Hog Nation expected McFadden to go nuts like he did this season. If you want to win, you ride the fast horse. Not the one that falls down once for every step it takes.

Malzahn and Mustain need to realize that we had a couple of moderately good running backs that carried the team this year. Mustain did nothing to impress me. Malzahn may not have quite as much success when he gets away from McFadden and Jones. And when you look at Mustain, teams left him wide open to throw where he wanted to…and he still never did anything to prove that he was as good as he supposed to be. He was 8-0 as a starter due strictly to the running game.

Casey Dick was adequate as the Quarterback placeholder on the field – and from what I saw, they should leave the QB off the field, put in another blocker and direct snap to McFadden every play and let him decide whether to keep it himself or hand it off to Jones. Maybe Malzahn will take Mustain with him. I’m tired of the dual quarterbacks and I’m tired of the little baby’s whining to the AD. Take your ball and go home, baby. We won despite having you as quarterback, Mitch Mustain.

Rest In Peace, Benny Parsons

We'll miss you, Benny. You drove me nuts saying Jamie "McMerry", but you were a great guy and super spokesman for the sport.

Rest In Peace, Bobby Hamilton

Former NASCAR driver Bobby Hamilton, 49, lost his battle with cancer today.

He will be missed.

Gotta Love the Playoffs!!

The Colts defense shows up for the first time all year (well second time if you count the Cincy Monday night game)...makes a mockery of the week-long discussions about Larry Johnson and the Chiefs running game vs the pathetic Colts run defense.

Then golden boy Romo muffs the field goal snap. TO's dropping passes like he's actually paid to drop them instead of catch them...pretty much like he's done all year.

But two games and two "where did THAT come from" conversations at the end of them. I love the NFL playoffs!

If today's go anything like yesterday's - I guess we can expect Tom Brady to throw a game losing interception with 30 seconds left to give the win to the Jets...and for Eli throw for 650 yards as the Giants offense looks like a well-oiled machine and cruises past Philly.

Nick Saban going to 'Bama

Seriously, in the grand scheme of things…who cares if a coach says he’s not going somewhere and then does? Nick Saban is not the first coach to outright deny going somewhere in the middle of a season and then turn around and go. He won’t be the last coach to do it, either. And as long as Alabama or its fans don’t expect him to be around for 8 or 10 years, then there’s no problem. It’s already established that contracts or press-conferences are meaningless, so why so much scrutiny about THIS coach saying he won’t go.

I realize that he said that he WOULD NOT be the coach at Alabama, and maybe he should have said that he preferred not to answer – but which provides more stability to a team in the middle of a season? A coach that’s elusive about his answers or a coach that pounds the podium and points his finger at the reporters and firmly states that he did not have sex with that woman?

Is it a shameful thing that he wouldn’t even show up at his own press conference to announce he was going to Alabama? Absolutely. Is anybody surprised? Absolutely not.

The bottom line is that Alabama needs help. They Need recruits and they Need a good coach – and they WANT both right now. And with Nick Saban, they’ll be good right away with his coaching and they’ll be good for a while with his recruiting. They’ll use Nick Saban to get Alabama back to being what Alabama feels like they should be right NOW, and they’ll worry about maintaining that after he leaves.

But you have to say this – it’ll be easier to get a coach to come to Alabama after Nick Saban leaves than it is right now. So long as Alabama doesn’t do a lot of whining and crying when he bails in a couple of years to go coach the Detroit Lions or whoever, then I don’t have a problem with it. Coaches lie about whether or not they’re leaving. It’s part of football – college or pro. It happens – so don’t act like Nick Saban is the devil for doing it this time, but don’t act like he’s the world’s biggest traitor when he does it next time. People know how he is – and even if he truly didn’t want to go, it gets hard to say no when Alabama keeps throwing more money at him.

New Tim McGraw Video

check it out if you haven't

I Like It!!

I don't know if they can keep it up for another 50 games, but I'm certainly digging the 2 100-point games in a row...2 nights in a row.

After a few months of boring, drag-it-out play, with a handful of up-tempo games thrown in before Kyle was hurt, it's nice to see them run again. It's like I've been saying for 2 seasons now - It has to be something entertaining to watch. NBA isn't totally about winning or losing, it's about entertainment. It would nice for them to win, but they have to make people want to pay to see them - even if they're losing...especially if they're losing.

For a team that's only averaging 95 points per game - including the last 2 100-point games and a couple of high-scoring overtime stat-skewers - it's great to see some action.

Win or lose, it has to be entertaining...even winning will only get you so far. Ask the Memphis Tigers: They win a LOT. But they play a crappy home schedule this year and the result is boring games - and lack of attendance.

I said when Barone Sr. was announced that I didn't know what kind of coach he'd be. If this is any indication, he's going to be pretty dang good.